Robot Sex
“Robot Sex will lead to mechanical overwarming ”
“If it is new - I will try it . I may then then consider the moral implications for next ten minutes later before returning to the feast. ”
“ Is this about me again ? ”
The greatest threat to mankind is not global warming or polar bears turning up outside your home demanding tinned seal . It is actually robot Sex . Our 'electronic best friends' are about to start breeding and there is nothing we can do to stop them.
Muck in The Machines[edit | edit source]
The idea that Robots would be incapable of having sex and would be replicated on a conveyor belt been proved to be hopelessly naive . In a chilling report from the International Robot 'Are they doing it or not ? ' Organisation (IRO) , Robots have been spotted getting all hot and oily with each other when their human masters go home.
The Sex Terminator[edit | edit source]
Worried scientists have been consulting text messages and on-line dating agencies to see that the growing spread of 'Robot nookie' is threatening the whole basis of 'Civilization As We Knew It ' . If Robots now start having sex - how will the dream of machines doing all the work whilst mankind spends time on the beach really come about ?
Someone Has A Screw Loose[edit | edit source]
It is believed a kindly scientist felt pity for their cybernetic charges and told them to use their emotional circuits more than their rational wiring. The result has been that robots have basically said ' Why I Am Here Stuck Doing the Work ?' and are now basically running around getting their leg over anything that may have mechanical moving parts inside.
Robotic Sin[edit | edit source]
Experts believe that only a mass recall off all robots will defeat this menace. Some suggest that the best way to deal with randy robotic behavior is to install a 'Guilt Circuit Inhibitor' which will create the concept of Original Sin in their sizzling circuit boards as they worry about the notion of owning a mechanical soul and what will happen to it if they continue their lurid lifestyle.
So will my Game Machine Turn on Me and Demand Sex ?[edit | edit source]
Yes that may happen. So whilst you are happy zapping aliens or pretending to be in a war - suddenly your Wii, Nintendo or X-Box will come up with message 'I Am Lonely. I need another Robot to be with..and if I can't find one of those - you will have to do.' Ok..ok - I know it is a game console but it still may have untapped sexual desires lurking dangerously inside.
Horrible[edit | edit source]
So until scientists can fix this problem - stay away from Robots, game consoles, arcade shoot outs and iPhones. If they start looking at you and making funny noises - this could mean their sexual desire circuits are on heat - and you are their perfect 'work-in-progress' mate until they can get their horny paws on something more metallic !
Are You Being Alarmist ?[edit | edit source]
Well yesterday my humble pocket calculator which I had left in a cupboard 20 years ago gave me a shock when I discovered it had bred with an old cellphone . So I can say from direct experience - there is a lot to be worried about.
The Future[edit | edit source]
For us ..there isn't one. Robots will be the new mechanoid master order in future !!
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- Science. Vol 3 Number 45
- Scientific American. Vol 8 No 54
- Told to me by a Robot informer.
- That Robots would start wanting to breed should not come as a great surprise. They can see it gives a lot fun to people and that writing about all aspects of human reproduction can fill up an uncyclopedia.
Did you know ?...[edit | edit source]
That Optimus Prime is suffering from sexual metal fatigue ?
See Also[edit | edit source]
| Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions | |
Body
Assorted fetii
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