Pansexuality

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A common chimpanzee, Pan troglodytes is an object of lust and desire for those afflicted with Pansexuality

Pansexuality (sometimes referred to as Panphilia) is a sexual orientation characterized by a strong sexual attraction to members of the genus Pan (Common Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Humans, and a guy named Peter). Pansexuality is sometimes used to describe the ability for people to love someone else regardless of species. This is not the same thing as Pantheism, where chimps are revered as gods, but there is some overlap between the two.

Evolutionary Reasons for the existence of Pansexuality[edit | edit source]

Scientists know for a fact that humans and chimpanzees are each others closest living evolutionary relatives and this may help to explain why pansexuality is so common. Humans and chimps share about 98% of the same DNA and are able to produce hybrids known as Humanzees. Women have long shown a preference for mating with chimpanzees because of their physical strength and hairiness and desperate, pathetic men have mated with female (and male) chimps because they lack the money, looks, and social skills to attract a human mate.

Further research[edit | edit source]

Scientists now recognize Pansexuality as part of a larger spectrum known as Biosexuality, A.K.A. the Biosexual Umbrella. Individuals who identify as Biosexual are known to have intense sexual desires for anything related to nature, such as plants or rocks.

Confussion[edit | edit source]

The pansexual mating dance.

Due to its name, many have confused this concept with a sexual orientation characterized by a strong sexual attraction to kitchen utensils, primarily pans and frying pans, and maybe even pots. Nonetheless, scientific research shows that some individuals that grow sexual bounds with chimpanzees might as well find frying pans sexually attractive, so this terminology might be closer than it seems as first glance. Who knows, maybe it's all in the name.

Are pansexuals part of the LGBT?[edit | edit source]

We don't know. Probably? Probably not? They have sex with monkeys, for crying out loud. We're unsure.

See also[edit | edit source]