Mickey
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Also known as "Mouse," "That one dude who has kids in his basement made a drug we should try it,” "Satans Mouse," or "Da Mouse”, mickey's are an illicit and illegal drug that has one of the highest growth rates in America. Originally distributed by Disneyland-pharmacie's to cure dehydration in their costumed employees, mickey's have become a popular drug amongst the raver set. The rehydrating effect the pill provides helps young kids continue to dance poorly and repetitively into the night [Much like other drugs we are all familiar with], effectively negating the effects of the massive Ecstacy-overdose they just shoved down their filthy gullet, and the kitschy nature of the pills design appeals to their mindless commercialism.
While initially viewed as harmless, mickey's were made illegal in the aftermath of the Just Say No-campaign put on in 1992. It's hard to remove the drug from the streets, however, because of its high level of collectability. Everybody loves Mickey Mouse!
It's also the name of a song created by Toni Basil to accompany the music video for a pair of insane kids who were high on said drug at the point of the song's creation and imagined a bunch of cheerleaders dancing around for no reason, hence the 1982 song "Mickey".
Indeed, Mickey HAS blown their minds, as is claimed by their mindless chanting.
The Effects of Taking a Mickey[edit | edit source]
The first time you take a Mickey, your head will start to spin and you will find yourself naked in the middle of a field with the word Failure written across your face. MICKEY MOUSE SAYS NO TO DRUGS. I would just hate to point out that this is not a hallucination, as the next 4 times you take it the same thing will happen, except the word will change to woogalwangwee, cinghiitresit, mondaseeeryt and urafukindumas but after that when you take it you will find yourself in a far away place called Disneyland Paris where people will say Bonjour or some shit instead. If you are over the age of three you will experience signs of George H.W. Bush hallucinations, but a few weeks later, every hallucination will seem normal and you will need another drug such as cocaine. but after about 3 Business Days you will die from the long term affects of mixing Mickeys and Coacaine.
Places of use[edit | edit source]
Often found at teenagers "sex parties", or in your mother's underwear drawer, Mickeys are considered extremely dangerous especially to little brothers, looking around for all the drugs to take. Mickeys also have a clinical use, doctors sometimes use mickeys to treat "Post traumatic stress disorder" or QRDF. Doctors only prescribe this in extreme cases, and highly forbid giving these to addicts. Addicts are extremely noticeable, and exhibit weird behaviors like sudden uncontrollable bladder, profuse vomiting, insufferable insomnia, crackheadedness and an extreme urge to watch the children’s show “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse”