Lust

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Lust is the act of lusting over something. Lust commonly refers to the specific case when one loses one's self respect and any semblance of dignity after encountering a sexy member of the public. It is one of the major causes of sexually frustrated people, especially adolescents, males and adolescent females. It's officially a sin, and used properly, it can actually improve your sex life. That makes it much better than love which has been positively identified as a contributory factor to Hallmark cards, expensive restaurants and bad poetry, while Lust has given us civilization, Art and of course sex. Lusting over your girlfriend’s mom is NOT cheating! Do not let Oprah tell you otherwise.

Etymology[edit | edit source]

The word lust has been present in English for a long, long time, and was even recorded in Anglo-Saxon times in a fragment by an unknown author in the era of King Æcolluphid: Lust is just an easy way of saying horny. Lust can be used in many ways such as: sex, love, romance, baby makin, fucking time, ect. Lust is just wanting something more than usal. Like obsession. You obsess over that new french women with the huge tits cause you believe that you have a "Connection." Really all it is, is your brain screwing you to make your in love when really, its your pants that are in love. This hapens when the mans cock gets filled with "lovey dovey' stuff and the man gets really really dumb and does what the woman wants.

Toh þine ælʃehfodt ware no luʃted

however no earlier use is recorded, and from the date it is quite possible that the word was influenced by the Old Germanic word luestet directly or via the Old Norseish lostett. Extensive surveys of 20-25 year old blonde Scandinavian women has still not produced conclusive evidence. More adventurous researchers have suggested English may have been influenced by a forgotten Visigothic or Ostrogothic word and have proposed extensive expeditions to Spain and Italy to better understand lust in those cultures, including, naturally, an investigation of all surviving regional dialects. This theory however is not widely accepted apart from by divorced male etymologists with large research grants.

The earliest Modern English citation is found in Wharfinger

Nyver dyde hee
Luste afther thy ladiese graycius forme,
[The Tragedy of the Knave, Act IV Scene II]

in a play which has proved popular whenever a waif-like leading lady can be found.

Lust as Historical Motive Force[edit | edit source]

It has been argued by many notable anthropologists that lust is the driving force behind civilization, both current and prehistoric, though whether this is the specific or more general case of lust has yet to be determined.

Up-to-date research has shown conclusively that people in history had sex. Did I mention sex? So it's a fair hypothesis that they had lust too. They probably had lots of sex, cause they weren't writing Uncyclopedia articles.

Anyway, there were lots of historical events which were driven by lust and the desire for (better) sex. Like Henry VIII, who must have had a beheaded-lady fetish. Or the Nazis. No-one really supported what they did, there were just so many leather fetishists looking for a good time. And plenty of Roman Emperors were absolute sex-maniacs, most of whom were so ugly they had to become ruler of the known world to get any. Really, I'm not making this up.

Lust in History of Art[edit | edit source]

Most old Art was basically porn for rich people [1] [2]. After the invention of the peepshow, by the Victorians or someone like that [3], the world of Art needed another reason, philosophy or something.

And so the pr0n industry was born, democratically letting us relieve our sexual tension without having to pretend it's like culture or something. If you have to use long words and go to a public art gallery to see the hr0nY c03d5 exhibition, that's still there. But sometimes it's very well hidden.

Lust in Cinema[edit | edit source]

Lust. Well, it makes you want to go to the movies doesn't it?

And who cares if it's crap, it just has to have some fit member of the opposite sex for you to lust after for 127 minutes.

The power of lust was discovered early in the history of cinema. The very first blockbuster, Frank Orr's Snore was a worldwide sensation, showing fin de siecle heartthrob Frank Orr snoring. Critics (all male in those unenlightened days) were unimpressed, complaining about the lack of plot, character development, special effects, fit women getting their tits out or stuff getting blown up. Modern-day movie historians regard this first major movie as also being the first chick flick.

It was not long before filmmakers discovered that stars and starlets had the power to lure audiences into the cinemas. Movie studios relocated to Hollywood because with enough makeup and lighting California girls could be made appealing to audiences across the country.

Lust in Literature[edit | edit source]

Most great writers (and most of the bad ones too) were thinking about it every six seconds while they were writing. If they'd been getting any they probably wouldn't have done much writing. It's in Shakespeare, and if you'd rather have a lust poem than a love poem, there is one.

Lust in Music[edit | edit source]

Music's all about getting laid too. That's why teenage boys who aren't good at sports start bands, cause then the girls will notice them.

See also[edit | edit source]

External links[edit | edit source]

And if you still can't decide: Do you want lust or love?