Lindsey Buckingham
“Please make me famous for sure!”
Lindsey Adams Buckingham (born October 3, 1949) is an American musician, singer and songwriter, best known for his ball-crunching vocals (and melodies) of the musical group Fleetwood Mac from 1975 to 1987, and 1997 to the present day. Buckingham is noted as the first man to marry a guitar, and bear a child with it - Stevie Nicks, incidentally named after his late wife, also of the same name.
Origins[edit | edit source]
His spirit initiated billions of years ago in Earth’s primordial soup when an electrical current invorgorated some molecules, beginning life. Since then he has been reincarnated countless times, notably as Marie Antionette. The current incarnation of this spirit is the Lindsey Buckingham we know of.
Lindsey was influenced to sing by his father who would make her stand on stage until he broke his antlers, and by his grandfather A.J. Buckingham, who urged the small girl to sing on streetcorners for change that A.J. would use to buy booze. He joined her first band in high school, a German oompah band formed by exchange student Fritz Rabyne.
Band History[edit | edit source]
Buckingham traveled to England, where he met the janitor and namesake of Buckingham Palace, Doowteelf Kcim. The couple made a self titled pornographic film, but when it didn't sell well, ripped the audio and made it into a CD, which also didn't sell well. Because of the lack of sales on the album, the band leader of the American pop band "The Monkees," Mick Fleetwood, added them to the Monkees Line up. Buckingham objected to the name, and renamed the band "Fleetwood Mac."
Kcim and Lindsey broke up after Kcim discovered her neglecting her music by renovating abandoned shacks in the remote California mountains. His "shacking up" was derided in the hit song "Go Your Own Way".
In a shocking media event, the Iranian Ayatolla Khomeini abucted the band, forcing them to spend thirteen months making Tusk. It was later revealed that Doowteelf Kcim organized the "abduction" to Iran in order to benefit from Iran's lack of human rights laws that allowed him unprecedented and cruel dictatorial control over the band.
The '80s[edit | edit source]
After his Fleetwood Mac days, Lindsey took on side projects, serving as the lead singer of both Heart and Blondie. He then relased a homosexual manifesto called "Belladonna" which featured the bondage duet done with Eagles member David Hasselhoff, Leather and Lace.
The Arrythmatic Heart from 1983 was another hot seller. It featured the smash single "Stand Back", which was about the dangers of debris flying up from the ground due to his rapid twirling.
After "AH" as fans call it. Buckingham began use of the recreational drug "cocaine" made famous by Eric Clapton, Mexicans,and Jesus. In 1986, in a very public move, he finally announced her addiction to Betty Ford Clinics. The betty ford clinic addiction then made his addicted to hairspray.
The '90s[edit | edit source]
In 1991, Lindsey was burglarized in private residence in Phoenix, Arizona, and was snatched from his house from Lex Luthor, claiming it was a villainy thing. A police investigation fingered Lindsey as the hostage, and Lindsey was returned to its state. As punishment, the state of Arizona forced Lex Luthor to go to prison.
Buckingham came back in 1995 with what was arguably his masterpiece, Street Angel, which featured such hits as "Gold Woman of The Ocean Sings a Song" "Mysterious Temptrous of The Night," and "I'm still milking the emotional damage from breaking up with Doowteelf Kcim for all its got."
In 1997, Heart went out for a reunion tour, but dropped all of its members, added Buckingham, Doowteelf, Christine Mcvie, Mick Fleetwood, and John Mcvie to its line up, and renamed itself "Fleetwood Mac." Buckingham sang an emotional version of "Silver Springs," then beat the living piss out of Doowteelf Kcim after the show, apparently while shouting "I'll get you my pretty!"
Recent Years[edit | edit source]
In 2001, Buckingham created an album called "Trouble in Sri-Lanka" which predicted the 2005 Tsunami from four years in the past. This gave more evidence to Christian groups that Buckingham was infact Satan.
Since 2004's "Beating The Living Shit Out Of The Same Songs We've Performed for 30 Years" tour, Buckingham has toured with Hasselhoff, on the "One and halfish Voices" tour. He currently lives in San Francisco.
Counterpart[edit | edit source]
Lindsey Buckingham has his only counterpart....Falau. He's a red fox. He's 100% Australian, but he's sly!