Koko B. Ware
Koko B. Ware was a world famous wrestling technician in WWF before leaving his flock to join Ring of Honor. Before his wrestling career he was the first person to successfully fly across the Mississippi river, seven years before the the more famous flight of Charles Lindbergh .
Early life and Pilot career[edit | edit source]
Koko was born on a large plantation in rural Tennessee on June 20, 1890. Soon after his birth his parents noticed that something was off about young Koko, but they could never put their finger on it.
That is until the day of his 10th birthday. At his party he came out flapping his arms like a bird pecking at the chicken feed near the chicken coops and started talking to the chickens. His parents did the only thing that loving parents of 1900 did. They drove out into the woods and threw Koko out of the car with a bag of corn and never looked back.
It was in those woods where Koko found his new family. He had been wandering around the woods trying to find his home for a fortnight when Big Bird came, lead him to his nest and family. Koko lived with the Birds happily until the outbreak of WW1 where he became the first and only Birdman to fly for the United States. During his military career he earned to rank of Sgt Major for his courages actions in the battle of Kaiser Von Macaw when he shot down 100 Jews and 5 ducks .
After the war he became traveled the country as a stunt pilot. He would tweet,sing, dance and tweet in front of dozens performing bird like stunts in his plane the Spirit of Lou. And contrary to popular belief of the time it was he, NOT Charles Lindbergh, that was the first man to cross the Atlantic Ocean. Koko broke every single flying record with 'Lou' in the 1920's. He was the first man to eat corn while flying a plane, first man to fly around the world in 5 hours, and the most unreccord that he broke was that he was first man to fly naked while drinking RC Cola.
Sadly his record breaking pilot career ended on May 14, 1933 when he crashed The Spirit of Lou into Mount Rushmore, destroying the plane and knocking the face of president Rutherford B. Hayes off the mountain. Lucky for him no one saw it since the country had been in the Great Depression for 4 years and no one could afforded tickets to his show. And even if they did see it no one would care since they never heard of Rutherford B. Hayes.
Pro Wrestling[edit | edit source]
After the plane crash he went to living in solitude for the 45 years in Mississippi . During that time his life went into a downward spiral where all that he would do during the day is tweet at the TV and Huff Kittens . Wanting to relive his glory days in the spotlight, and with the encouragement of his best friend Frankie, Koko decided to try his hand at Wrestling.
In pro wrestling Koko quickly became as popular as he was after the war. He traveled around the south beating up fat white guys, skinny white guys and regular white guys with his friend Frankie. His most famous match happened on April 14, 1984 when he and Tiny Tim fought for five days in a No Holds Barred match, it ended when Frankie pecked out Tim's right eye causing him to submit.
With his win over Tiny Tim he had accomplished every thing that he could do down south, so he moved north to work for WWF . He became the most popular wrestler not named Hulk Hogan to work for the WWF where he quickly rose to the top of the ranks. He won every title except for the World Heavyweight Title, but that was because it was sewn onto Hogan's waist so he could not win it.
But as happened in the past it all went spiraling out of control. At Wrestlemania VII in a Frankie on a pole match against Cardinal Jesse Ventura. In that match Ventura won by climbing up the pole taking Frankie down and killing him in the middle of the ring with his bare hands. After Frankie's death he went in a downward spiral, he lost all of his titles and fell to the bottom of the WWF.
For the next 5 years he was a jobber where he forged a new friendship with fellow wrestler Owen Hart. He and Owen went every where together. They would go shopping, to hockey games, fishing and to the movies. But even this was rarely seen as the only time that people saw them together was Thanksgiving Survior 1992. Despite the fact that he was fired in 1994 when a payroll error was fixed he continued to hang out backstage at WWF events, dancing and tweeting with Owen until Owen's untimely death. After Owen Died, Koko in a fit of depression left the WWF and pro wrestling forever.
Life after Wrestling[edit | edit source]
After he left the WWF he moved into a new home in Upper New Jersey where he lives a happy life meaningful life with wife and his new best friend Balls Mahoney. He and Balls do all the things that he once loved to do with Owen and Frankie. The two of them even founded the wrestling promotion Ring of Honor wrestling in 2002. Balls has even talked him into flying again.
TNA...Working for Jeff Hardy[edit | edit source]
In the year of 2008, however, Koko and Balls returned to the ring to work for Jeff Hardy's TNA, the top wrestling promotion in the universe. He and Balls put on bodysuits and masks and wrestled as The Johnsons, the wrestling penises. After winning and losing the TNA tag team titles in their debut night, Koko immediately unmasked and berated the fans for encouraging people like him to wrestle way past their prime. Balls then attacked Koko with a flaming chair, which brought out Jeff Hardy to help Koko. But it was a swerve from the mind of TNA president Vince Russo, since Koko then teamed up with Balls to beat down Hardy. However, it was announced that Koko's career was ended when the fire from the flaming chair gave him 3rd degree burns on 50% of his body. Russo then came out to cut a shoot interview on Koko for being unprofessional since he refused to wrestle Jeff Hardy an hour after being burned. Russo then said Balls and Jeff Hardy would face each other in a 60 minute Iron Man Match that night. But that was a swerve since Koko showed up at the end of the match causing Balls to win the Ironman match 10 falls to 9. That was the last time Koko was seen on a TNA pay per view.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Did you know Koko B. Ware's a black guy?
- He likes cheese, gummi bears, and comfortable shoes
- Penned the hit song "Stray Cat Strut" at the tender age of 11
- Was ranked #3 in Entertainment Weekly's poll of greatest Birdmen of all time, only behind The Birdman of Alcatraz and Harvey Birdman.
- Had a bum-bum baby with Late Motley Crue guitarist Mick Mars.
