Jainism

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jainism.
Jain Saint during a Carnival in Brasil, waiting for someone to come

Thought to be cognate with Polytheism, Jainism revolves around the worship of G.I. Jane. It is an offshoot of the ancient religion of Tarzanism. When Tarzan met Jane, he was enlightened (as in "Me Tarzan, you Jane") and a violent Jane-ism was born. Ever are the Jains searching for a way to bring back the dead so that they can be killed anew.

The Jains are also the only world religion to have ever warred against every single religion conceived of on this good green earth.


Sanitage[edit]

Due to their rigid beliefs, Jains sweep the ground in front of them with a broom made from the feathers of peacock, and are therefore responsible for all of the road sweeping that occurs in India. If it wasn't for the Jains, India would become very much like Pakistan.

Hygiene[edit]

Owing to their non violent way of life, Jain Monks abide by the rule that by avoiding rituals like brushing your teeth & having a bath and abiding by the ritual of wiping off your poop to let it dry fast, one saves lives of few tiny micro organisms & thus achieves eternal Nirvana.

Naturists & Nudists[edit]

Jains are considered to be the first organized religion dedicated to the cause of nudism & naturism.

Analysis of Jainism's role in idea history[edit]

The spiritual teaching of Jainism is considered to be a bugless version of Buddhism. The fact that Buddhism has become a world religion while Jainism has not spread outside a small group of extremist worshipers is most often explained by the Buddhists' cute orange clothings and more efficient sales organization, which makes the Jains the religious counterpart to Apple computer owners.

See also[edit]

Tajmahal.gif
A nation united by virtually nothing, please
States: ChandigarhEast BengalKashmirKeralaMaharashtraNepalTibetTulu Nadu
Religions: BuddhismHinduismIslamTantraZoroastrianism
Funny guys: Barkha DuttMohandas GandhiRudyard KiplingDalai Lama
A zoo-full of deities: AllahGaneshaHanumanKali
Languages: EngrishHindiSanskritTelugu
Other stuffs: Bhagavad-gitaBangaloreBollywoodCricketCurryFootballHippiesJatMangoRamayanaRockTaj MahalTurbanUrumiVJTI