How Do You Solve A Problem Like Thomas Becket

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Thomas Becket assassination.jpg
He tries to speak all Latin-y, 'bout second grade he fares
King Henry tells him "Kiss my ass," resigned as Chancell-air
Who's higher jurisdiction, God or judge with fake white hair?
You might forgive us all for being crabby


We hardballed him with Clarendon, we made him take the deal
He hates the King for everything, except for every meal
I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel
Tom Becket's not an asset to the Canty


I'd like to say a word in his behalf
Tom Becket makes me laugh


How do you solve a problem like Tom Becket?
How do you hold a fart when sitting down?
How do you find the word that means Tom Becket?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!


Many a thing the King would like to tell him
Theobald's missed, Tom has no leg to stand
But how do you make him pay and listen to all you say
How do you turn a foot into a hand?


Oh, how do you solve a problem like Tom Becket?
How do you wear a mood ring on your hand?


His authority's abused, out of focus and misused
Excommunicated fast-ly, what a sham
Reprehensible as leather, say we rope him then we tether
He's a monster! He's a demon! He be damned!


He'd out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest
He could ban you from the abbey for a burp
He is mental! He is wild! He's a fiddle! He's too riled!
He's a headache! He's Archbishop! He's a jerk!


How do you solve a problem like Tom Becket?
How do you drink a soda with no burps?
How do you find the word that means Tom Becket?
A heretic Bishop! A turbulent priest! A clown!


Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing to get him off our land
But how does he go away and give our fair King his day
How do you cook some ice cream in a pan?


Oh, how do you solve a problem like Tom Becket?
Where can I find a sword to fit his back?
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Thomas Becket.
Bouncywikilogo.gif
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Maria (Rodgers and Hammerstein song).