HowTo:Get Out Of A Relationshit
I bet you know what a relationship is. Of course you do, everybody does. It can be from just aquintances to best friend forever, from having a crush on to marriage. Having a relationship with someone is one of the best things in the world, besides winning Survivor. However there are people you have problems with, have fights with, two parents fighting, or hate each other. These are what we call a relationshit. Relationshits are something you don't want to have, as it builds confict in life. For example, lets say you hated this guy in your school, and years later you go to McDonalds and hhe works there and gives you a small burger instead of a Big Mac and gives you stale fries and a flat soda. Of course you can sue his ass, but you don't want something like that happening. Its better to have friends than enemies. If your currently in a relation shit with someone, this will help you get out of one.
Relationshit at School[edit | edit source]
This is the most common relationshit to have. Just do the following
Method A[edit | edit source]
For grades K-12 and college
Become the Class Clown. Yes! Then everybody will love you and stop making fun of you.
Method B[edit | edit source]
Say that you are part of something cool, but only if its real. If you arent then your lying and that will get you in big trouble and get a spanking.
Relationshit with Parents[edit | edit source]
This one is what you really DONT need to have. Your parents love you and care for. And there the ones who give you money (ching ching). If you ever get in a relationshit with them, just do the following.
Method A[edit | edit source]
For ages 6 and up.
Give them gifts; flowers for your mother and your dad a baseball card. Say sorry for whatever you did wrong. Take them out to eat.
Method B[edit | edit source]
For ages 6 and up.
Let them spank you. I know its a gay thing to do, but hey, a least their letting out their anger, alhough it would be weird if you were 40.
Method C[edit | edit source]
For ages 6 and up
This is quite simple as 1, 2, 3. Hold your anger, especially you damn teenagers. Theres no need to get upset over something stupid, like you can't play outside because thats a dumb thing to get mad about. If you want to go out on a date or hang out with friends, but your dad (or mom) won't let you take the car, don't get mad; buy your fucking car, or take a bus or taxi. As for you damn adults, grow up, life has stupid things.
Relationshit with Girls[edit | edit source]
If you are a Guy[edit | edit source]
Seriously? You asshat! That's like the stupidious thing to do, besides drinking and driving. Since you do have one, here's the method to get out of this relationshit you foul excuse of a man.
Method A[edit | edit source]
For Ages 18 and older
Give them flowers, chocolates, hugs, kisses, rings, sex, and more.
Method B[edit | edit source]
If you broke up with your girlfriend and she don't like it.
Ask her back and apologize. Even though you may no longer love her, learn to love her. If she's ugly, take her to get plastic surgery, or give her a Anti-Ugly Pill Although it won't be effective if she turns around and say that "Its too late to apologize. Its too late. Aye, Aye, Aye Aye. Good song!
Method C[edit | edit source]
If you are married.
Do what your wife want you to do. Hey, your not free anymore, your a married man, and it usually works about 40% of the time.
If you are a Girl[edit | edit source]
This is a lot better than if you were the opposite sex.
Method A[edit | edit source]
Say sorry.
Method B[edit | edit source]
Talk about malls, shopping, Jonas Brothers and all that girl shit.
Relationshit with boys[edit | edit source]
If you are a Boy[edit | edit source]
Method A[edit | edit source]
Hang out and shit like that.
Method B[edit | edit source]
Threesome with a girl (NOT RECOMMENDED)
If you are a Girl[edit | edit source]
Method A[edit | edit source]
For Ages 18 and older
Give him sex. Lots and Lots of sex. Unless your religious, than give him love and Jesus.
Method B[edit | edit source]
If you broke up with your boyfriend and he don't like it.
Like if a boy broke up with a girl as said way above, ask him back and apologize. Even though you may no longer love him, learn to love him. If he's ugly, take him to get plastic surgery, or give him a Anti-Ugly Pill Although it won't be effective if he turns around and say that "Its too late to apologize. Its too late. Aye, Aye, Aye Aye. Good song! Unless he abused you then kill him or move out and say fuck you asshole!
Method C[edit | edit source]
If you are married.
Kick his ass!
Relationshit with Authority[edit | edit source]
You must have serious problems if you have a relationshit with authority. This includes cops, soldiers, President, Vice President, Govenor, other sorts of goverment, or anything like that.
Method A[edit | edit source]
All Ages
Go up to him/her/them and apologize. Simple enough.
Method B[edit | edit source]
Just accept the fact that he is in charge and is allowed to boss you around and take it like a man (or woman). Unless, however, your in a communist goverment (China, North Korea, Viatnam, etc.) then your allowed to bullshit them, but do it in another country cause they will fucking kill you.