Holocaust jokes
“What's the difference between this article and the Holocaust? This article isn't funny.”
Holocaust jokes are said by some to be jokes told purely to get a rise out of the intended audience whilst the teller isn't really meaning what he is saying. However this is far from the reality. Holocaust jokes are told because the Holocaust was one of the funniest things of all time (see: Lolicaust) and to rub into the faces of the Jews and gypsies that survived the camps about how epically their race got pwnt is one of life's great goals.
It should come as no surprise that said audience may start to inhale and exhale very deeply with the occasional gasp, as if they themselves were in the showers at Auschwitz.
A partial compilation of situations where using a Holocaust joke to make a point is socially acceptible[edit | edit source]
- Your wife has too many shoes
- Dear, the inside of your wardrobe looks like a fucking Holocaust museum.
- Your mother is telling you to stick with your friends when you go out at night
- Safety in numbers didn't exactly help the Jews.
- You're sick of being told the Holocaust was one of the worst war crimes of all time
- It could have been worse. We might still have another 6 million Jews alive today.
- You don't want to go to some gay-ass summer camp
- Mom, dad, I might not come back from camp. Just like with the Jews.
- You are required to write an essay on the concentration camps, but your whole family is German
- My grandfather died in the camps, hence I feel a bit upset with the topic. You can't prove the guards didn't fall to their death from the watchtowers.[1]
The list goes on.
That feeling you have right now for laughing[edit | edit source]
Do you feel it? Do you feel it?? That feeling eating away at the back of your head? No, that feeling is not carbon monoxide poisoning, it's your subconscious conflict between being horribly disgusted by this article and the fact you. Just. Can. Not. Stop. Reading. And. Laughing. Because no matter how terrible the Holocaust was, and no matter how much this article seems to just take a massive dump all over sensitivity and common decency, you want to keep reading. You think you might learn a witty joke that you can tell a Jewish girl, which, in a twist of irony, will allow you into her over-sized panties. But the fact is, a direct approach is far better. Ask for her phone number. It's probably tattooed on her forearm.
More than just the Jews[edit | edit source]
Hitler would never have been able to achieve his epic highscore of over 6,000,000 kills whilst only suffering one death, if he just focused on the Jews. On your attempt to offend as many minorities as you possibly can, it is worth making a tender joke about some of the other groups that were condemned to the camps.
Gypsies[edit | edit source]
Hitler also attempted to purge all of the Gypsies from his beloved Europe. Mainly because they rarely worked or did anything useful for the beautiful view of Germany he had. Once dead he however hoped that they could fuel the giant furnaces in the factories. Literally. Wait is it 2 soon???
The Polish[edit | edit source]
Need I say more?
Gay people[edit | edit source]
Hitler didn't very much like the gays so they were part of the holocaust. Our modern society doesn't really like gay people either, this being the solid proof on Uncyclopedia. So the natural recourse is to of course make some kind of joke about gay people in the concentration camps. Such useful entry points include how a bunch of gay men were put into a small room together with no clothes on, makes the systematic murder of so many gay men seem like one giant snuff porn.
The mentally and physically disabled[edit | edit source]
Yeah too far.[2]
Complaints[edit | edit source]
To complain about this article, please add your name to the Uncyclopedia wall of disgust. Please to note this is not a satire of the "Holocaust wall of remembrance" but rather a complete and utter mockery of it. If you are reading this and are a Holocaust survivor, maybe instead of being angry that this piece of literature exists, maybe you should focus on something positive. I mean, it could be worse. You could be dead and you're not. However 6 million of you weren't so lucky. You fucking selfish prick.
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Shooting off random escapees that can barely walk with a rifle is a very dangerous job. Never forget their sacrifice.
- ↑ Unless it's a gay Jew with Down syndrome. That shit's funny.