C:\> Run "Zork II"_
ZORK II: Gruel and Unusual Punishment
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Revision 5837831 / Serial number 9 and 3/4
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Welcome to Zork 2, in which you must use a laser/light/pudding cannon powered by your own awesome looks (you didn't know that already?) and extreme sarcasm powered by pudding (don't ask) to destroy the Grue race once and for all. Both the Grue King and the Ur-Grue are dead, thanks to your 1337 skillz (and a shadowy figure, but more on that later).
After you escaped the Ur-Grue's lair, you followed the red line marked on the Ancient Map, and found your way to this unmarked building just as night falls. Unfortunately, those batteries you put in your brass lantern back in Zork 1 have decided to run out of juice. Orange juice to be specific. You are now in pitch blackness.
> "Oh crap, more Grues."
"I took care of them already."
> "Thanks, buddy!"
That wasn't me, dumbass. Just for that, a Grue jumps out-