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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/win

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You click on the "win game" link. Suddenly, a message appears in the middle of the aisle in the form of a giant stone that crushes the phone booth. The stone reads, "YOU'VE WON!! NOW GO AND EAT PIE!!!"

You jump for joy, do a little cabbage patching, embarrass yourself with a victory dance, and go up to an old lady and shout, "HAH! I PWNED U n00b!!"

Suddnenly, the universe begins to collapse around you, and you realize that only you and a blank empty space remains. You shout, "Uh, I didn't mean that, old lady!" and Nobody hears you. He approaches you, a sickeningly swee-ee-eet smile on his face. You say, "Who the heck are you?!?"

"I'm nobody," he says, "who are you? Are you nobody, too?" He adds, "and my last name is 'in particular.'"

"Umm..." you mutter to yourself, thinking how angry the author of the poem Nobody quoted would be if she found that out and were still alive. "Where am I?" you say to Nobody in particular. He answers in the fakest British accent ever, "Why you've won, old bean! In about two seconds, reality will snap back into focus!" Nobody takes out a bazooka, but, instead of shooting it, klunks you on the head with it. You slip into a coma.

When you wake up, your eyes are still closed when you realize that none of it was real. You then open your eyes and make another realization.

"We're sucking your brain out with these bendy-straws!" said the Supreme Martian Overlord. You feel your brain moving, and since it is so tiny, it moves with ease. Your last thought before you become a hideous, brainless, undead corpse is, "You are SO off of my 'cool aliens' list!"

You feel so powerful after picking up that mysterious phone booth and the bottom of the aisle with it. The woman loves you now, your wallet is suddenly filled with cash, and your acne has cleared up forever!

That's right:

*** You have won ***








































Oh no! It turns out that was just some aliens playing a trick on you from their flying saucer!

Whilst your rosy sense of achievement has distracted you, they have taken the opportunity to quickly suck out your gastric juices with a telescopic bendy straw! In other words, you just lost The Game.

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!