Euripides

A Greek writer of tragedy who was not

a) Sophocles
b) Asschyluts niether

Voyage on http://www.euripides.com to days of yore!

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Euroipods?

Phoenician Alphabet	Proto-Canaanite version: 1050 BCE
This alphabet isn’t really an alphabet at all — it’s just an abjad. You can vote for or nominate your favourite syllabaries at Dulkw ’ahkepedia:VFL.

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DIONYSIA Shh! — tragedy and comedy are being performed ... or rehearsed. After the pompe are choruses of goat-songs, hymns and dithyrambs for Dionysus to enjoy. If you just got here and are mortally offended by tothasmos, please read Oedipus and fuck your mother, then go put your eyes out. Seriously, the Panathenaia is for suckers.

Hypothetically speaking, if there were a God, and there isn't, it is likely that He wouldn't support this article, and any facts it contains. As it turns out, divinity is a polytheistical mess with a multitude of gods, many of whom do support this article. So if this article should fall victim to Vandals or Goths, there is a good chance that those Germanic idiots got confused and thought they were sacking Rome. But if you decide to let your naughty tendencies take control, know that several plagues will be inflicted upon you simultaneously, making your life here just a wee bit uncomfortable, not to mention itchy.

100% GREEK TRIBUTES!!*

"This bastard wrote ninety-two plays?... and I've got thirty-eight: To be, or not to be and all that jazz... Damn, I can't get this spot out of my shirt." - Shakespeares_Sonnet18, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, England

"We watched Ion just before Dionysia.....my friends thought the actor who played Apollo was dreamy....but I was partial to the young man playing Athena" - Dame Bramage, Parthenon

"SATYR PLAYS! WOULD SEE THAT AGAIN, AAAAAAAAA++++++++++" - Benson, MIT

"I hated Bacchae. Hated hated hated hated hated this play. Hated it. Hated every posthumously puerile, fetus-hiding moment of it. . this play sucked so bad it made baby's cry it sucked do not whatsoever see this damn thing.Hated the sensibility that thought any Greek would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience when everyone died except for Tiresias. I mean, that blind guy had it coming." - Roger Ebertoulou, The Thebes Sun-Times

"Stand out of my spotlight before I pluck another cock....featherless bipeds? Ha!" - Diogenes, Sinope

"He lost his bottle of Oil" - Aeschylus

"He was fun to laugh at, he's dead and I still laugh" - Aristophans

"Yeah, but did he bang Marilyn Monroe? Did he?" - A Miller, New York City

*Tributes are not really Greek. But this article kinda is!**

**Except without all that feta***

***And those nifty little Kalamata olives****

****I really like those things

The author did not pen the following plays:

Aristophanes, who performed stand-up at the Old Attic of Comedy, infamously said of Greek tragedy, "Can't live with it, can't hang it, choke it with poison, push it off a tower and feed it to Cerberus. Hey, did ya hear the one about The Frogs?"

PWNED!

• Waiting For Godot (this should be obvious, though - that would be absurd)
• Prometheus
• Les Miserables
• Spamalot
• Paradise Lost
• A Streetcar Named Desire
• Oklahoma!
• Death of a Salesman
• The Life and Death of a Template
• The Caucasian Chalk Circle
• Much Ado About Yokels
• Cats

The Fates Came, Spun, Measured and Cut This Thread

So our destiny is controlled by three grannies with magical knitting needles and a pair of scissors, probably living together in a house that stinks of ouzo and cat piss? And the sun is just a golden basketball used in Mount Olympus' Intra-deity League and earthquakes are caused by Hephaestus and his fiery-mad dunking skills? The Earth is supported by a stack of pigs, you say? And stars are merely holes punched within an all-enveloping black curtain through which all the gods are peering and laughing, laughing and peering? Wow, bet you could use that outlook to justify a helluva lot — slavery? The subjugation of women, perhaps? Tyrannical empowerment by a few over the many? At least it's heartening to know that we live in times far removed from such a superstitious, backward mentality and nobody fears a group of malevolent beings who reign eternally and enact suffering upon us capriciously. Now we've just got one. Go Jehovah!

See Also

Greeks

San Francisco - The one place in the U.S. you can still go Greek!!!

Also see also

Talk:Euripides

Greek Empire

The Odyssey

Euroipods

King of the Krunk

This author won a laurel crown at a drunken festival in 441 BCE (ish).

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