Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal
By far the most david bowie stanning portal you will ever find.
To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.
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I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.

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Highlighted Article

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Developed as a practical joke, Cleveland's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame opened its doors, no, it threw open its doors, to an adoring public in 1984. They ran and tripped and fell over themselves to finally get into an edifice dedicated to modern-day Gods and Goddesses. And even though some attendees compared it to entering the gates of heaven which led directly to the bowels of hell, some stayed and never left. Thusly born and well on its way to cremation, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame burst upon the consciousness of museum and theme-park goers everywhere.  (more...)
Article Credit: Aleister View All
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Music in the News

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"What?"

VIENNA, Austria -- At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.

"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue...  (more...)

Article Credit: Modusoperandi View All
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Featured Image

Hang the DJ!
A belated favour for Morrissey.
Image Credit: Todd Lyons
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Featured Artist

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And so it was that the Misunderstood never came to pass. But don't take our word for it, just ask anybody!

This particular misunderstanding began when fate decided to try her hand at unpopular music. She created five unwitting suckers along with DJ John Peel. Then she brought them all together and the boys conspired as rebels with a cause of being Yardbirds-wannabes, while John became their mentor.

Although just a rag tag band from California's Hayseed-meets-Hollywood Inland Empire, by 1966 Peel had teleported them to another reality, far far away, in "fab" London, where they became Psychedelic Music icons, like, NOT! In London town the band were enticed with promises of bread and water into signing a pact with the first company to giva-a-shit: Fontana Records.  (more...)

Article Credit: Rsbj66 View All
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Lyric of the Week

“I'm a wizard who uses his wand in a very special way.”

 Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical

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Featured UnTunes

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No fuckin' thank you.

No Cucumbers

This is Tom Yorkshire's magnum opus, No Cucumbers, as performed by the band Rad Iohead.

A bar that's full of vegetation

A bunch of different lettuce

Spinach you won't eat

You need a healthy lunch

Bring down your weight a bit

You eat way too much fast food

I'll take a Caesar please

A spring mix, some mesclun maybe    (more...)

Musical Credit: Zana Dark View All
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Musical Articles by Genre


  Slayer
Kirk HammetRobert Trujillo
Not Lars UlrichNot James HetfieldClint EastwoodLou Reed
albums
Kill 'Em AllPastor of MuppetsMetallicaMSN
songs
"Seek & Destroy" • "Foppery" • "Master of Puppets" • "Mama Sad"
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