Boneless whale

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We have not yet been able to snap a picture of a boneless whale. Sorry.
We tried again; again we failed. Sorry.

The so-called boneless whale is an interesting phenomenon within the terrestrial ecosystem. It resembles other whales in form and is separated from them in terms of bulk and coherence only. Whether the boneless whale is a freak or a true mutation is a question as yet unanswered.

Differences from whale proper[edit | edit source]

Within boneless whales, the equivalent of bones have developed over a period of time to be of much spongier material than true bone, far less stiff than normal land animal bones. Due to longheld quasi-aquatic existence the bones do not have to hold the large bulky animal upright for the most part. They rather work to keep a vague shape to the floating bag of blubber which remains practically weightless within a habitat that closely resembles oceanic conditions.

The feeding habits of the boneless whale also differ from those of the ordinary whale. While ordinary whales browse around in the woods and dig the earth with their snouts for roots, fruit, nuts, acorns and the like, boneless whales mostly spend their time in peaceful contemplation of the world while other life forms are carried to within their reach for consumption.

Also, the natural living conditions of the boneless whale are drastically different from those of other whales - indeed different from any other mammalian habitat as far as we are able to tell. The boneless whale inhabits a strangely organized environment - so much so that some scientists have suspected intelligence. The animal is, however, subject to all the natural, hormone-based urges the rest of the natural life forms of the planet have to live with. Because of this, studies are being run on the origin of the boneless whales: are we certain they are not gene manipulated? It seems unbelievable that such a large and inert animal would be able to withstand all the stresses of its hormonal activity without developing into something different within a space of a few generations.

Boneless whales reproduce asexually, which makes them truly boneless. This claim has not yet been proven in any convincing way. The glimpses we have gained of the mating habits of these revolting piles of lard have rather pointed at ordinary bi-sexual activities. Due to the large repositories of fat surrounding their sex organs, some scientists have put forth the possibility of aerial pollination. Study results are inconclusive due to budget problems.

Conclusion[edit | edit source]

Boneless whales certainly require further study. If we can overcome the financial problems haunting this project, we will catch a few of those fat piles and remorselessly prod them with our probes. I guess we will need to hold them down to get them to accept it, but in the end, it is to the advancement of science. We will not enjoy it.