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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.

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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

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Did you know...

*... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?

... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?

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Latest murders
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) Murder News – Free Lunch at the Pie Hole
Past murders...
April 13: Shower With Your Best Friend Day (Singapore) 1 AD - Jesus Christ and the Buddha form the seminal gangster rap duo, Shakyamuni and the JC. 1597 - The first Yo mamma joke: "Thy moth'r wast so bacon-fed those gents did need a tree to pierce her maidenhead." 1976 - Richard Nixon says "fuck the haters, they don't know the real me", gets impeached anyway. (Pictured) 1984 - Ingsoc releases minitrue-approved rap artist "Doubleplus Hardcore", is disbanded after recording song Fuck Tha Thoughtpolice. 1985 - The Space Shuttle Challenger is dubbed "Unexplodable" by NASA at a news conference. 1997 - Tiger Woods becomes the youngest player to win the Masters Tournament by getting a hole in one in every round that he has played. 2010 - EU demands cash from Iceland. Iceland sends ash, Europe buggered for weeks. View tomorrow – More murders...
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Today's featured pie

Captain Obvious on the Titanic.

Image credit: PiOfFive
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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