Australia/Commodities

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A "poofter drink" is a commodity imported almost entirely for the Australian tourism industry.

In 2006, the two most expensive commodities in Australia were petrol and bananas. This was due to a large, and very sharp increase in banana destruction and theft by an unknown marauder only known as Larry. the only other information on Larry is that he went on a massive banana-killing spree in North Queensland in March 2006. Large amounts of oil didn't come from Iraq for 3 years or so, and the petrol prices went up, and , because North Korea detonated a super-sub-sonic-not-going-to-do-much-but-still-will-somehow-devastate-America-and-various-other-countries-nuclear-bomb, the price of petrol went higher yet. Explanations are still being asked for, but most people suspect that petrol prices is not the only thing George Bush wants big down under. He does want some credibility as a leader. Despite the hike of Banana prices, the Big Banana in NSW is still completely worthless.

The great banana prices has resulted in creating a new social system in Australia, those with bananas (The Rich Upper-class Stuck-ups), and those without bananas (The Poor Middle-Upper-Slightly-Lower-No-Not-So-Low-Higher-than-that-Class). The Great Bannana Prices has also started off a craze of coconuts, and an increase in extremely uncoordinated raiders, as well as a full-length feature film, The Great Bannana Prices/Crisis.

The Prices/Crisis has also forced the Government to step up and create a new currency, Australian Bananas (symbol B). It is worth $US 3.1337 and is expected to have it's own credit card, debit card, Visa card, cheque card and complimentary spa card by May 2012, provided the US army, with help from the guy with the cuncus form, find Osama Bin Laden. Not many peaople are able to deal with these high costs. But the taliban can. The Taliban can because they mix Allah and nuts and screw the world real good. This adds to the extrodinarally unnessesary number of reports about petrol and bannana prices.

Thank You and Guten Nacht.


Exported Commodities[edit | edit source]

Australia exports kangaroos, illegal immigrants, sun light and rocks lots of rocks there is actually a replica of the largest rock ever found in the centre of Australia. The redness is due to the number of people dying while it was under construction and so the blood stained it. Australia is also one of the largest exporters of Bogan Tourists. Main trading partners include the exotic land of Bali filled with Tourists from The Bogan's Republic Of Narre Warren . Or Cronulla. These tourists can be found commonly throughout Bali and indulge in the pleasures of Binge Drinking, bragging about their VL Commonwhore Calais and making disparaging remarks about Asians.